Ballerina Unfurled

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The Many Robes

I tried on robes of all kinds in every shape, size and color.

Long and short, thick and thin, gentle and tough, mean and kind. Soft and hard, dark and light, fighter and peacemaker, young and old. The variations went on and on.

None of these costumes fit. They tugged here, bunched and scrunched there, wrinkled and pinched here, hung too loosely there.

Lifetimes Peel Away

After years of this, lifetimes really – suddenly, no, not suddenly – slowly, yes, slowly, one by one, the robes are starting to fall off of me. Now I stand en pointe, center stage, on the proverbial stage of life.

I am the ballerina fitted in pink leotards. performing an intricate pirouette. The robes lift around me and twirl on the air in a slow motion spiral.

Exit The Dance

The robes drop, scatter, litter the ground around me. I am spinning, slowly, circling across the stage, my arms flutter around me. I prance over all the robes now littering the stage with their multi-colored, varied fabrics.

On the tips of my toes, with tiny pointe shoe steps, I cross the stage to the waiting wings. Smooth movements of my arms up and down belie the exquiste, minute steps of the pointe toes.

"Exit stage left."

Ballerina Unfurled

Perpetual movement propels me forward. Now, even the pointe shoes unlace and fall to the wayside.

With bare feet, I twirl into the ocean waves.

I look up to see that an earthly robe is draped over me. It’s familiar and unknown all at the same time. Flesh bound to the worldly plane, subject to the rhythms and cycles of earthly demands and limitations. Yet, the spirit is etherial, boundless, free.

I’m simply a beam of light, a sparkle on a crested wave. Was that a flash of light we saw or our imagination?

Water Is All There Is

Water is all there is in this ocean whether it is crashes as waves on the surface or barely moves as thick, dense depths of dark glass.

Sounds of eternity travel through the water, but these tones are unheard by our limited human ears. Blue whales are singing primordial tones to each other across hundreds of miles.

An ocean throbs. Constant movement. Lifing up. Pulling down.

Water is all there is and we are the water.

No boundaries.

Only being.

Ballerina from Pacific Northwest Ballet

Words

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Word Sparkles

Peering forth at the light of existence, you could almost hold it cupped in your hand. You try to describe to someone else, even to yourself. The very moment you speak a sound to capture that wide, great light crystalizes. With the first utterance of sound, the whole shatters into thousands of reflected lights, like when a crystal is caught in a sunbeam. Sparkles fling off into multiple colors, dancing in the dust beams.

Whole To Part

You hold a vast wholeness within you. Words, by their own nature, are composed of tiny bits and pieces. You say the sky is blue, but at the same time, you also know the sky can be black, grey, and even red or orange. The problem with language is that you can’t say all of that at the exact same time. So, only a partial truth is expressed at any given moment.

As words spill out of our mouths, we enter the realm of partiality. It can’t be helped. It’s the nature of language. Chopped-up little pieces attempt to capture the wide world around us. That’s hard enough as it is. Now imagine trying to use words to capture inner dimensions that are not bound by outer forms. That becomes a “horse of a different color,” as they say.

The Perils Of Our Guides

On the path of greater consciousness, this is one of the challenges for teachers as they guide their students. Students are only capable of hearing from their own perspectives.

Yesterday, the teacher said the sky is blue… and that was accurate for that precise moment in time. But, today, we are in a different time, another moment of existence, and it may no longer apply. We are different, the teacher is different, the sky is different.

Now, the student sees an orange sky. The student insists, “No, the sky is blue, the teacher said so, and I refuse to see this sky of orange.” Or, faced with an orange sky they can no longer deny, the student then feels as if the teacher lied to them and rejects the teaching of the teacher entirely.

Clinging to the words that were previously uttered is how we enter into dogma. It becomes a “truth” frozen in time, locked in the dead past.

As students, we need to remind ourselves that the words of any teacher are only signposts, pointing in a direction, to a dimension on an inner path. Words can never define the teacher and, by the same token, words cannot define us either.

A Lot Of Words

Some of us have a lot of words. We’re looking at you, Fyodor Dostoevsky and Leo Tolstoy. Both men were filled with words of passion and sentences of history that consumed vast pages of books stretching into infinity. Well, infinity is a slight exaggeration, but it looks like that when you’re still on page one of their books.

Words are good. They delight, entertain, provoke and encourage. Words tickle our fancy. Some of us word-smiths are enamored with words. We gather cherished words and phrases around us like little children. Two favorites of mine are “as is my wont” (thank you, Shakespeare) and “gird your loins.” In addition, some of us bulk up our repertoire with beloved words from different languages.

Ernest Hemingway shaped his writing style with “clean words.” No flowery prose for him. He wanted his writing to be as clean as the cold, crisp white wine he quaffed in copious amounts in his novels. Nothing sticky or cloying about his drinks or his writing. He wrote like an Anglo-Saxon language warrior, short and to the point.

His clean lines have a haunting quality to them. From his book, The Sun Also Rises, Hemingway crafted one of his most lovely string of words:

“Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

Joyful Words

Words guide, inspire and inform us. Well-turned words can lift us up to higher realms. Words that are connected with awareness to a higher consciousness can stir us awake like drops of milk added to our coffee, forever changing its hue, forever changing us.

Still, in the end, each of us has to take our own steps into awakening. Along the way we realize that the words themselves are not our truth, just tiny sparks of it, ever-changing in the very moment we find ourselves.

Let’s rejoice in our words as we smile privately to ourselves, all the while knowing that vast universes stand behind all the sparkles of light.

Calm Down

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There's a meme floating around that says how telling someone to calm down has never in the history of the planet actually helped anyone to calm down.

It's meant as a joke, but like most jokes, there's a kernel of truth to be found.

If you could just "be calm" – you'd probably already be calm, right? 

Isn't that true for most situations when someone tells you to "be" something different?

Be This, Be That

Be mindful. Be aware. Be thankful. We are constantly admonished to be a multitude of things, but it's difficult, if not impossible, to become a state-of-being on command.

Furthermore, once someone starts barking at you to be one thing or another, it's not uncommon to have the reaction, "Don't tell me what to do!"

So, what to do?

Do we just will ourselves to be something? That doesn't seem terribly effective either.

Perhaps we can support ourselves on the path of becoming if we take an action that leads us in the direction of what we desire.

To Be, Take An Action

For example, instead of saying "Calm down" or telling ourselves "Don't be upset" – how about if we say, "Breathe."

Focus on the breath. Slow it down. Take a long breath in through the nose, hold for just a second and then, slowly release it out of the mouth.

Just breathe. It's an action.

We often advise our medical patients to focus on their breathing when they are undergoing a procedure. We find that saying to them, "Don't be nervous," when faced with a fearful or painful procedure is not helpful. Furthermore, it dismisses their feelings of being nervous. Instead, we focus on the breath, in and out, to help get them through the procedure.

The action of focusing on the breath helps to decrease the grip of fear or pain.

Take An Action With Transcendental Meditation 

There are many dimensions inside of us. We have the inherent ability to move past one way of being into another state-of-being.

We don't have to let outer circumstances toss us about like choppy waves on the ocean, as if we were not in charge of ourselves.

Transcendental Meditation© as taught through the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi program opens a wonderful gateway for transcending into higher energy. Dipping into transcedental consciousness in the meditation, we come back into the outer world refreshed. Sometimes, even with a different perspective or a deeper awareness.

The next time someone tells you to "be something" – take a breath. Of even greater importance, when you say it to yourself ... do the same thing.

The wholeness that is already within you is ready to shine. 

 

Prayer And Meditation

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Do you pray? Do you meditate? Maybe you do both.

What is prayer and meditation?

You can find a meme for everything nowadays, and prayer and meditation are defined in this one.

We Like To Define Things

As humans, we have a need to explain and define things. It makes us feel more comfortable to think we know what things are. It makes us feel a little more safe when we think we understand something. It even gives us a little illusion of being in control.

Now, most of us would admit that, in truth, we're not in control of anything, but that's easier said than believed. So, off we go with our definitions clutched tightly to our chest.

Then again, perhaps we are, indeed, talking and listening as we pray and meditate. This idea captures the duality of the breath in and out and an exchange of giving and receiving.

Here, we have a statue of St. Francis sitting on a hill that overlooks the valley of Assisi in Italy where he often came to be in prayer and meditation.

Prayer And Meditation Are A Circle

Where does the beginning of a prayer become a meditation and when does a mediation start to slip into a prayer? I would propose that they co-exist in a circle. Without a beginning or an end, we constantly meet ourselves at the start of a prayer and at the end of a meditation session.

As he sits outside on the steps in Assisi, a Franciscan monk lifts a prayer to the heavens.

Better Than A Hallelujah

Sometimes when we pray and meditate, we find ourselves facing aching tears, sorrow and anguish. In these moments, we fear our prayers are not heard. Perhaps our meditations are not "holy enough" to be considered worthy. 

Have courage, and know you are held within a great light in both the good times and the bad. Your tears and your laughter are all a melody within the heart of the universe. 

Amy Grant captures this in her heart-expanding song: Better Than A Hallelujah.

 

To Have Or Not To Have Is The Question

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Time For Spring Cleaning

It's spring and that means it's time for spring cleaning and decluttering. Time to downsize, to get the cobwebs out of our closets and cupboards.

It's about finding the right balance between having things and not having things.

Some things we need.

Some things we need every day, while other things, we need once in awhile.

Some things sit in our closets and we don't need them at all, but for some reason they keep sitting there.

(Below: items ready for pick up for donation.)

Moving Is A Great Time To Declutter

Usually when faced with a move, we’re still working and we have what seems to be a million appointments as we rush off to the next assignment. Just too busy to be able to have enough time to sort through things.

Or, have you ever tossed things in a fit of "oh my god, I have too much stuff" only to regret it later because you actually do need it and then have to buy it again? Ouch.

Other times, we simply shake our head and think, "oh well, just pack it and move it" – with the plan to deal with it later.

Later Is Now

Well, here it is. Later is now and a move is coming. In addition, it’s spring and with it comes motivation for spring cleaning and decluttering.

If you have enough time before a move, you can calmly contemplate items and consider their purpose. Function can be a good criteria to keep something.

There are plenty enough items kept for their sentimental value. The debate consists of determining if sentimental value is strong enough to keep things despite a lack of functionality.

It's all about finding balance.

Time To Declutter

Even if you're not moving, the energy of spring may be motivating you to tidy up and downsize. One source of inspiration is Marie Kondo, the Japanese guru of decluttering. She is full of ideas about getting rid of the clutter and bringing organization to your life. Not only good for your home environment, but also good for your mind and spirit.

Kondo advocates that an important aspect of letting go is to acknowledge an item and say thank you for their energy in your life. Then, you accept that it's now time to say goodbye to it.

She holds that it's more in balance to honor things that have been in your life, even as you say goodbye, instead of tossing them with disdain.

“It is to be touched, thanked and ceremonially sent on its way towards a better life elsewhere, where it can discover a more appreciative owner.”
— marie kondo

Japanese Style

Having lived in Japan for three years, I can certainly attest to the organization and tidiness of the Japanese culture. Everything has its place, neatly organized.

“If you haven’t communed with your socks lately, thanked your shoes for their hard work or bowed (at least mentally) to your home in appreciation, maybe it’s time to consider doing so.”
— marie kondo

Spring is the perfect time to look around your home to see how you might tidy up, downsize and reorganize.

Perhaps you’re inspired to spring clean and declutter now that spring has sprung. 

 

The Bamboo And The Sky

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The Bamboo And The Sky

If I were to tell you, your essence is that which is held
inside the hollow bamboo.

If you lift that bamboo up and behold the sky,
where is the division between the vastness
and that which is you?

It is always One.

It is just that you begin
to perceive only the bamboo case.
You think that outer shell is you.

You need to move back to the hollowness,
to the emptiness, and in that moment,

You are the entire vast sky itself.

–Leslie Anneliese

 

Breathe In, Breathe Out

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Your Breath Holds A Key

“One in-breath alone is enough to set you free – from your regrets about the past, your worries about the future, and your projects in the present.
In that state of freedom, you will make better decisions.
Next time you have to make a decision, be sure to breathe in and out first.”
— Thich Nhat Hanh
 

We breathe. All day, all night.

Gratefully, we don't have to think about it. If it required our conscious thought, we'd all be dead by now, having let it lapse at least somewhere during a day of activity, racing to work, getting a cup of coffee, avoiding a traffic jam. Never mind trying to consciously breathe while we sleep.

Our breath is simply there, or we can choose to shine our awareness on it. As quoted above, our breath is a key to our awakening, a deeper awareness.

Precious Breath

Our breath is precious. It's the first thing that connects us to this earth at our birth. We can be born, but without the invisible cord of our breath that ties us to this earth, we won't be able to stay. 

When I first started working in Labor and Delivery, I felt sad when the newborns cried. That is, until I realized how deeply healthy it was when their lungs filled with air and they proclaimed their entrance onto this planet with a loud cry. My heart dropped to the floor when a delivery remained in frightening silence as we scrambled to save a little one.

I learned to love the cry of a newborn infant. Hearing it, I knew, at least for that moment, all was right with the world.

Remember To Breathe

As our lives march on, sometimes our breathing becomes shallow and tight. Sometimes we hold our breath.

While performing a medical procedure, we often tell our patients to breathe.

"Breathe, don't hold your breath."

Breathing with the discomfort carries us through the procedure.

Breathe in, breathe out – with awareness.

Follow your breath and let the breath set you free.