Prepare For The Goodbye To Our Pets
/This is Part 3 in a 4-Part Series of articles on pet loss and grief.
Preparing To Say Goodbye
My pet, my kitty, was having physical difficulties. Each breath was labored. As much as I loved her and wanted her to stay, it was time. Her last night was rough and she gently asked me to help her.
She let me know she was struggling.
"Help me, momma."
"Yes, baby, I'll help you."
Even though it rips your heart out of your chest, you'll do it. You are willing to face your pain.
Yes. You'd walk through fire to help your pet.
In a sense, you can't prepare for loss. You can't "sim it." Your efforts, however, will provide a buoy to help you navigate the choppy waters of loss.
Preparing For The Loss
Perhaps you'd like some photos in the last days? It's okay to have pictures when our pets are old as well as when they're young and vibrant. Maybe you'd like to have some videos.
All the petals of our flowers are beautiful, even the ones that are withering.
Maybe you are someone who doesn't want photos or videos.
It's all okay. There's no judgment. What is important is that you consciously make your choices. It helps to mitigate regrets later on.
One thing to prepare yourself for: death is fast and once the euthanasia process starts, it's quicker than quick.
Dying slowly is a misnomer really. While you're dying, you are still here, you are still living.
The moment that life-thread is severed, the speed of departure is beyond description. Faster than any concept we have about the speed of light.
For Students of The Radiance Technique®
Students of The First Degree of The Radiance Technique® (TRT®) can spend extra time with TRT® hands-on with their pet during the days leading up to goodbye. You can also take extra time with your own hands-on in a TRT® meditation of the upcoming event.
In your meditation, you gain insight as to how you will help your pet. You also get in touch with some of your fears and concerns.
As a student of The Second Degree of TRT®, directing energy to the upcoming event was a powerful part of my preparation. I was fortunate to have days off prior to saying goodbye. I could focus on the event and spend time with my pet.
I said goodbye within the inner fire. I wept.
I took the time I needed to talk to my kitty and to build a pathway of light for us. This was critical for me as the actual process of the euthanasia took place in a flash.
Without the prior preparation with TRT®, I might have felt lost, almost cheated, that everything happened so quickly.
The Process Of Saying Goodbye
It was so fast.
The whole process of euthanasia passed by in a blur even though I'm sure time was actually ticking along in a normal fashion.
There was a roaring in my ears. I cried and said I love you over and over.
Then, the vet left and we were alone.
Stillness.
No tears now, only my breath moved in and out while I held my kitty in the fire of TRT® hands-on. I was breathing for both of us.
Support For The Grieving Process
There are support groups online that specifically focus on pet loss and preparing for end-of-life. This is helpful since our feelings are sometimes be dismissed as not meaningful because we are grieving an animal.
René Butler, DVM, with Lap of Love, suggested two links:
Association for Pet Loss & Bereavement
Argus Institute - University of Colorado's Pet Loss & Hospice Programs
Deep Grief, Great Love
Be careful to not let your sorrow undermine your love with regrets and doubts and feelings of did I love enough?
That's sometimes easier said than done.
Especially when it feels like you have a knife stuck in your heart, or a gnawed-out hole in your gut, or when tears keep falling.
Hold on to your love and remember: "Where there is deep grief, there is great love."
